my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
