I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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