A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
