Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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