Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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