ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
