im having a threesome with these popsicles
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
