Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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