He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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