Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
