I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
