so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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