He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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