we have pet lesbian snakes
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
