This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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