I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize