I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
