If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
