***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
