was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
