I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My cat gives me a boner
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
