you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
high people should be assigned attendants
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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