You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
