You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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