Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
