she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
