May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
