Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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