do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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