Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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