I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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