Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dignity is for republicans.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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