saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
