Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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