so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize