i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize