i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
this is an emotional support booty call
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize