i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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