I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
smell my finger.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
