I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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