Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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