Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said her name was "party"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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