Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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