Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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