hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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