I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
