you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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