margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
