There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
