Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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