we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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