it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize