can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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