roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
