I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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