does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
