apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
