At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
