I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Quick, to the slutcave!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
