just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's just like the Real World with babies
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize