hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
