dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
