I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
